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Not
Acting Like Yourself After a Loss?
You May be Playing a Role with the Grieving Cast
of Characters. |
Many
caregivers expressed that they were “not
being themselves” or “acting uncharacteristically”
were responding to a major loss in their life.
Some felt major changes, as if they had “become
a different person.” The experiences of
fellow caregivers are presented here in the form
of the “Grieving Cast of Characters."
You’ll notice
that these characters are intended to be slightly
humorous and somewhat exaggerated as they show
the common reactions. As you read about these
characters, remember that different people handle
things in different ways, but you will most likely
find yourself identifying with one or more of
the characters.
Let’s meet five of the sixteen
common characters. If you’d like to read
about the strengths and cautions associated with
these characters or meet the other 11, read
the Journey of Grief handbook, available
on this web site. Remember, these are normal reactions
and take the time you need to work through your
loss.
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Nickname
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Characteristics |
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Theme:
"I have to be strong for others. No one
else can (or will) do this."
The General takes the lead
by completing or assigning tasks. Instead
of connecting emotionally, the General is
just acting.
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Theme:
"I’ve got to concentrate on my
work. I cannot lose my job."
The Worker Bee throws himself
into his routine or work, leaving little
time to be affected by the loss. If he has
taken time off to handle personal matters,
he wants to make up for lost time by working
harder when he returns.
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Theme:
"Thanks to him, I’m in this lousy
situation. I gave up my life for him and now
I look at the crap I’ve got to deal
with! I have nothing good to say about him,
that hospital, or anything."
Anyone or
anything who is in the vicinity of the Anger
Monger can bear the brunt of an outburst.
He is constantly on edge and he will shout,
gesture, insult, and fight with others,
sometimes without motivation or instigation.
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Theme:
"Now So-and-So has a problem that I have
to take care of. If it’s not one thing,
it’s another."
Like any
superhero, the Super Caregiver always has
work to do. She hides her own grief by constantly
filling her life with another crisis. She
may feel that her life has little meaning
without attending to the tasks of caregiving.
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Theme:
"I’m numb. I’ll just avoid
the situation. I’m not sure what’s
really happening. Nobody cares how it’s
affecting me anyway."
The Invisible Man
wants to be alone. He may appear cold-hearted
and unfeeling. Usually silent and not tearful,
he may act on autopilot and withdraw from
social settings.
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